This afternoon’s phone conversation between Diana and her Aunt Mai:
DIANA: (in botched Vietnamenglish) Hi, Co Mai!
AUNT MAI: Hi honey. How you?
DIANA: I’m good! I’m good! Just catching up on the news.
AUNT MAI: Me too, honey! I read in newspaper today that Tiger Wood do wery well in golf show!
DIANA: I think it’s “Woods,” Co Mai. Which golf tournament? The Dubai Classic? Is that happening right now?
AUNT MAI: Yes. In newspaper it say Tiger Wood win Dubai Classic.
DIANA: It’s “Woods.” That’s great!
AUNT MAI: What you mean, “it Woods.” It Wood!
DIANA: Co Mai, I think I know who Tiger Woods is.
AUNT MAI: YOU CALL AUNT MAI LIAR? I READ IN NEWSPAPER IT WOOD!
DIANA: Calm Down! How’s Grandma!?!?!
AUNT MAI: DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. You just like your mother says, so mát dąy, so disrespectful!
DIANA: I am not disrespectful! I’m just trying to help you.
AUNT MAI: TIGER WOOD! LOOK IT UP!
DIANA: Fine, I will look it up. Okay? I will look it up. [Googles "Tiger Wood Dubai Classic and finds...]
AUNT MAI: Now what you have to say?
DIANA: Um, I guess it is Tiger Wood, Co Mai. How’s Grandma?
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