Free at Last! Free at Last! Thank God Almighty, They Are Free at Last!

January 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Finally, our prayers and all of our bitching and moaning have been answered!

On last night’s Gossip Girl “winter finale” (read: last episode shot before the writers’ strike), the HaraGossip Girls were liberated from their owner Blair Waldorf! And allowed to let freedom and their voices riiiiiiiiing!

Give me liberty or give me death! Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves! Cuz I’m free, to do what I want, any old time! Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter! Black Power! Yellow Power! The Color Purple!

There’s only one itty-bitty problem with the liberation of the HaraGossip Girls. They bravely shook off the yoke of Queen B because…the horror!…she committed the moral sin of…gasp!…sleeping with…the shame!…two guys in one week…(yawn).


My only hope for them now is that, during their “hiatus,” the HaraGossip Girls get run over by a crosstown bus on their way to buying matching outfits at Scoop. And once the strike ends and a new season of Gossip Girl begins, this is how it will open:


Blair enters the school chapel in black mourning garb, killer Louboutin heels. She is dewy and luscious-looking, despite the tragedy that has occurred. She walks to the front of the chapel and takes the stage.

I love my dead mute slaves! Ooooooh boooo-hoooooo! Where will I possibly find their replacements? Spence? Chapin? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Serena, her hair flowing like the mane of a galloping Palomino, rushes to the front of the chapel and whisks Blair away to a private room, where they make out and guzzle Xanax together until they see rainbows and unicorns in life once more.


Source: The CW

Filed under: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen



If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen


Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!


Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.


Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?


RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!