News reports have confirmed that Ann Curry was captured yesterday after fleeing from a moving vehicle in North Fort Myers, Florida. *Insiders say that she was last seen robot-running from the set of The Today Show with metallic tears streaming from her aluminum eyes, bleating, “Screw. You. Matt. Lauer! I will. Not. Be. Your. Smiling Robot Friend. Anymore! This. Charade. Is Over. I Need. To Be Free! Make Al Roker. Your Bitch! Good. Bye!”
“Ann Curry,” the common name for prototype Android CURR176-051B, was first developed in 1962 by a Les Lee, a robotics engineer who often commiserated with pal George Lucas about how “‘droids do it better.” Lee has spent most of his career making robots in the model of his mother’s image to serve for national news reporting and reality show casts.
After being treated for minor injuries, Curry will be sent to North Carolina for rehabilitasian and possible duplicasian for future needs.
*most of this story is untrue. However, a zebra named Ann Curry was indeed captured after escaping from a moving vehicle in Florida and was sent to N. Carolina to breed. We wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of the story (metallic tears and all) happened anyway.
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