Clearly worried about forever being known as “Mister Third Place” (or as we described to Rudy Giuliani yesterday, “First Loser to the First Loser”), John Edwards officially announced his exit from the Presidential Race today.
Of course we’re sad to see him and his perfectly-coifed hair step down. We truly respect his furious fight for the angry middle class, and hate to see any strong-willed Democrat hang up his coat. But it really gave us the sad and uncomfy tingles watching him try to squeak into the dialogues of the last handful of debates, only to be ignored like a homely, boobless teenage girl. Hey, nobody needs to feel that left out, not this long after summer camp.
Edwards ran an admirable campaign, and we applaud him for trying. Although, let’s be honest, we’re Asian! We think quitters are LOOOOOOOOOOSERS!!!
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