Name: Tiaina Baul Seau, Jr.
Also Known as: Junior
Occupation: NFL linebacker
Known for: Playing 17 seasons in the NFL (the Samoan Seau turns 39 next week), getting elected to 12 straight Pro Bowls, being the one bright spot on the San Diego Chargers roster for over a decade, receiving the Volunteer Service award from President Bush in 2005 as part of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, finally returning to the playoffs this season with the Patriots after 12 years of nothin’, still scaring the lycra pants off of quarterbacks and running backs when he settles in a two-point stance.
Even though the New England Patribots bore us to zzZzZZzzzzz, we’re rootin’ for you, Junior! Happy Birthday and enjoy that ring!
Name: Tony Romo
Also known as: Tony “A Place for Ribs” Roma, Tony Cabo, Tony No Mo’, Tony Lame-o, Tony Go Home-o
Known for: Woefully poor taste in women, mistaking a bye-week for Spring Break, pissing away home-field advantage, losing to lesser teams, sucking in the clutch, making huge plays at the end of playoff games (a bobbled snap last year, an interception in the end zone yesterday) that result in his team having to go home and hang their heads in shame.
About his decision to go to Cabo during the Cowboys’ bye-week, Romo said, “When I made the choice to do those things I thought I was making good decisions like not going to Vegas and drinking for two or three days.”
Good decision, indeed. Asshole.
So, here’s the upshot…
Wait for it…
Here it comes…
…Go Green Bay?
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