Um… HELLO

December 3rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Does nobody listen to us?

I mean, besides you (faithful reader), our pal Ty K., Arianna Huffington, our pals over at Racialicious, and our editorial chums at 236, etc. etc. etc….?

Cuz I’m pretty sure we said loud and clear–nearly two months ago–that Tila “Drive-Bi” Tequila’s ratty old bisexuality ploy was a scam.

LOUD AND CLEAR.

What, with our millions of devoted daily readers and the simplicity of our LOUD AND CLEAR articulation, the world should have heard the truth right away–Tequila is a played, midget faker–and just let her go, like we always thought they should. She’s boring Reality TV, and that says something. Moreover, she’s a disgrace to Asians, to short people, and people of every sexual orientasian.

She’s also a disgrace to liars, because we called her out from a mile away. Wow, what a low.

Anyway, we think it’s pretty frickin’ bizarre that Page Six has the audacity to think they busted Tila’s shit last week with this zzZZzZzzzjuicy itemzzZZZzzZZzzzzz:

SELF-proclaimed bisexual MTV skank Tila Tequila may actually be straight as an arrow. The gay-for-pay bikini babe stars in a “A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila,” about her search for the perfect mate – male or female. But it’s “all a sham,” says a source close to the show. “Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she’s not really bi. She’s made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all.” Our insider claims that MTV works hard to pretend she’s single and available because she refuses to break up with her boyfriend, “who’s like five years older than her. This is a massive scam . . . That’s why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won’t dump him.” Tequila has also been acting like “a diva” and become a “nightmare to work with,” said the source. “She arrives late and doesn’t talk to any of the contestants between takes. She complains she has too much going on.” A rep for Tequila said, “I’ll confirm that she’s bisexual and she’s a delight to work with.”

Uh, sounds vaguely familiar. zzZZzZZzzRichard JohnsonzZzZZZzz, have you lost your touch? Because not only is your steez sooooooo two months ago, but you are clearly not reading our blog and apparently don’t know that homies that don’t Reco-nize betta watch their back. If you know what I mean. Hope this is loud and clear: YO, RICHARD JOHNSON. GIVE DISGRASIAN OUR DUE PROPS OR WATCH YOUR FAT, OLD BACK.

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