The Fresh Prince of Bel-Asia

December 10th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Like me, Will Smith was in Asia this past weekend, only he was promoting his new film “I Am Legend,” which opens stateside Friday, while I was losing money on the ponies (long story).

Goin’ native in Tokyo

After Tokyo, Smith went on to Hong Kong, where he reportedly asked action superhottie/director Stephen Chow to produce, direct, and star in Smith’s remake of “The Karate Kid.” This comes after weeks of rumors that Jackoff Chan was set to play Mr. Miyagi and Smith’s son Jaden would play Ralph Macchio (isn’t that creepy Smith imp 7 years old or something?).

In response to the offer, Chow told reporters:

“I’m very fond of ‘The Karate Kid’ and would love to join in the remake project, no matter as a producer, director or actor. But it depends on my schedule…”

TRANSLASIAN: Are you fucking kidding me? If I have to say, “Wax on, Wax Off,” I will wax your nutsack, naw mean?

Bustin’ with the Karate Hands

First Bollywood, now the rest of Asia. You gotta hand it to Slick Willy Smith, who declared his desire to shoot the Karate Kid remake in China, for ka-ching-chonging his way onto the Mother Ship. No wonder he landed the cover of Entertainment Weekly‘s “50 Smartest People In Hollywood” issue and #5 on the list. Perhaps he will use some of that ka-ching to buy a less creepy family and friends.

“Take us to your leader or we will blind you with our laser-whitened teeth.”

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