I suppose it’s sorta pervy to admit that I have a crush on Alex, the half-Asian nine year-old with one tooth from Kid Nation, possibly the worst reality show of all time (there’s no explanation as to why I keep watching, except that I experience some kind of catharsis at the end of every episode, when I wind up crying along with all the child contestants at those wretched town hall meetings).
But I love everything about Alex. Like the tooth. And those photochromic glasses he wears that switch from dark to clear depending on the outside light, a style of eyewear I thought had fallen into complete obsolescence. And that he knows how to identify a femur bone, as he did last episode when he stumbled upon a cow carcass.
Also during that episode, not-so-bright Council Leader Greg called Alex “one of the smartest persons” in the fake town of Bonanza City and awarded the one-toothed wonder the $20,000 gold star prize. Alex squealed with delight and described the award as “a paradox.” Then he had to explain to the other little dummies what that meant. “A paradox…is where something is and yet not is at the same time,” he said.
In ten years, this little dude will be a total catch and probably have come up with a renewable energy plan to save the planet (Al Gore is his hero). And even though all of his teeth will have grown in by then, I imagine he won’t be any less adorable.
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