Don’t Bogart that Hair Dye

December 14th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Chinese President Hu Jintao: Back in Bla-a-ack


Another alarming story about China using up all of our world’s resources came down the pike recently (are ya ready?): “Chinese Bigwigs Are Quick to Reach for the Hair Color.” The Wall Street Journal reported:

For aging men of influence here, the dye job appears to have become as commonplace as the Mao suit once was.

Then they published this graph of hair color sales almost doubling over the span of five years:

Which made me think, what if hair dye goes the way of air, electricity, coal, oil, and untainted goods and the Chinese use it all up?!? Then what?!? What am I supposed to do when my hair turns gray (which is not so far off in the future)?!? What about ME?!? Me me me, dammit! What about my vanity?!? What about my ability to succeed in elite circles because I look young and hot?!? Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! OMG!!! I’m fuh-reakin’ OUT!!!

Damn you, China. Damn you.

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