When Heroes Collide
MASI: Hey Hayden. What’s up?
HAYDEN: Not much. Bummer about the writers’ strike, huh?
MASI: Yeah.
HAYDEN: Hey, did you see last night’s episode? Awesome, right?
MASI: Uh, yeah. Except neither of us was in it.
HAYDEN: Well, I was in one shot.
MASI: But you weren’t “in” in it.
HAYDEN: Okay, but you weren’t in it at all.
MASI: So?
HAYDEN: Um…how do I put this? You’ve got White Man’s Puff. Asian guys aren’t supposed to get White Man’s Puff. Maybe that’s why you weren’t in last night’s episode.
MASI: Says the midget.
HAYDEN: I am NOT a midget. I am petite, and, sure, I have stumpy legs, but…the politically correct nomenclature is Little Person, anywho.
MASI: Whatever, midget.
HAYDEN: What in the world has gotten into you?
MASI: I’m depressed. The first good Heroezzz episode airs last night, and I’m not even in it. No one liked me being in Japan or with that fug warrior princess. My IMDB STARmeter is plummeting. By the time the strike’s over, this show is gonna tank. And my life will be over. At least there are pervs out there who will still want to see that midget body of yours naked and greased like a pole. You’ll always have that to fall back on.
(takes a long swig of dark-colored liquor)
HAYDEN: How dare you?!? I save dolphins. I cry for them on camera. Scratch that, I weep for them. Just like I weep for you. You fat fuck.
Filed under: Fat Fucks, Hayden Panettiere, Heroes Blows, Masi Oka, Midgets, Save the Dolphins, The Writers' Strike
