Tyra, Step It Up

November 20th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Uh, Tyra Banks has clearly not been reading our blog (Bitch!).

Why else would she center one of her talk show episodes around bisexuality, and invite Tila “Drive-Bi” Tequila to the set to elaborate on the finer details of loving both ladies and gents?

It’s hard enough for me to sit through five minutes of that little midget’s awful interview mannerisms: giggling like a chipmunk to punctuate her nonsensical answers, telling bad stories in her rudimentary urban vernacular, LYING about being bisexual, LYING about what it’s like to be in relationships with women, LYING about how she’s still “secretly” dating the winner (is the romance “like a movie” because they’re already in pre-production for A Shot At Love 2?). But I’m used to it, and frankly, her lack of star power makes me sad. She’s guaranteed to fade, and then who will I write about with such venom? I guess there’s always Masi Oka…

But what really gets my goat is that Miss Tyra has the nerve to act like she’s buying Tila’s bullshit. You’ve gotta be kidding me. Tyra is a den mother to outcasts, big girls, and ladies with fucked-up self-images. I can see her wanting to help Tila, not research “sex with men and women” by eating up Tila’s poorly made-up stories.

You wanna hear girl-girl dating stories? I can do it too, watch: When I get down with a girl, I’m all like, yo. She’s so soft. And she’s like strawberries, right? And I’m just like ohhhh, I want to buy you lesbian gifts and then take a bubble bath with you, right???

That actually wasn’t hard. Does anyone want to give me a reality show? I could use the money.

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Thanks, jRu!

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