November 28th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear Riyo,

I know we’ve given you shit in the past, mostly because you’re hot and you’re Miss Universe and we’re bitchy and a little jealous. But I’ve come around to you. I’ll admit I’ve been watching Pageant Place–and I won’t even pretend that I’ve been doing so “ironically”–and you are my favorite character on the show. Sure, you’re basically mutasian (a mute Asian character often seen on television and in movies), but in this case, it’s a good thing, since all the other beauty queens you’re forced to live with are hysterical crybabies having hissy fits and bitchfights every five seconds (which I watch with pleasure, also unironically). Your silence conveys a certain dignity that I feel your housemates are sorely lacking. You come across as a decent, classy gal.

And hey, I just wanted to tell you, you are rockin’ those new bangs, which you debuted at the Vogue Nippon Women of the Year awards last weekend. But what I can’t for the life of me figure out is why you wore this, this thing:

You do realize, Riyo, that you are wearing a GIANT VULVA on your chest, don’t you?

The “Rivulvsion” dress and Georgia O’Keeffe’s Black Iris

This is not classy. This is not dignified. This is just…ewww.

thinking of you and skipping lunch today,


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