More like a Motel 6 in Duluth

November 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

It’s a sad fact: Rock is dead. Save for the few awesome bands like Black Kids or Exit Clov or Blonde Redhead that we feature in our weekly Rock of Asian, the entire visible rock scene is totally adrift. Where are the new Fugazis and Nirvanas, the second comings of My Bloody Valentine, the young Stephen Malkmus, the teenage version of The Pixies? Where are they? Why is there no new Who or Stones? Why? Why? Why?

Instead, what my poor ears find themselves wading through on iTunes Tuesday is a bunch of bullshit sad hack post-post-emo/post-post-glam bands that can’t seem to tell a guitar pick from an eyeliner stick.

This douchebag? Are you kidding me?

These tools? Please just kill me (or them).

It’s gross. It’s embarrassing. It’s saddening. It’s maddening!

I’m angry, can you tell?? But that’s my beef. I’m apparently an old fart. I’ve come to terms with the fact that maybe it’s my problem, that the fact that my ears and eyes are offended by what most of the kids are listening to these days is a fault of my own hangups. I’ll be accountable for that, totally. It has nothing to do with me. Hell, it has nothing to do with us.

But dude, when it comes to my attention that Billboard (an organization populated by arguably sensible adults like you and me) has lauded the European MTV Music Awards performance of another stupid poser rock band called TOKIO HOTEL, I start to feel inadvertantly involved. Tokio? That sounds like Tokyo! And Tokyo is in Japan! And Japan is in Asia! And… well, you get the point.

I checked it out, and Tokio Hotel’s VMA performance included mid-stage torrential downpour over the stage. Incredible. They have not only dishonored Jennifer Beals’ iconic performance in Flashdance, but the fashion stylings of The Cult –all in the course of a singular song:

I am taking this very, very personally. Tokio Hotel, indeed. LEAVE US THE HELL OUT OF THIS.


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