Finally, We CW the Truth

November 19th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Has one of Gawker’s tipsters revealed the truth behind the mute, mute, muteness of the two colored HaraGossip Girls?

The informant, who auditioned for the show but wasn’t utimately cast, sez:

“Originally, the Kati and Isabel characters on ‘GOSSIP GIRL’ were actually listed in the breakdown as “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern in Jimmy Choos… They were actually the funniest part of the show – they had these totally bizarre three line conversations at the end of each scene. Unfortunately, for those of us who went in 19 times for every part on the show and ended up coming down to the very end for those roles, the network decided that they had to go “ethnic,” and they claimed couldn’t find any black or Asian girls who were funny, so they, at the last minute, cast models and decided to just make them sight gags. No joke.”

Ohhhh. I get it now, ladies of color could have had some of the most hilarious lines in the show, but we just couldn’t bring the funny. No, totally. I’ve never met a funny Asian or black girl in my life, nor seen one on tv, nor read one’s blog. I bet Jen hasn’t either!

Now that I realize that it’s our peeps’ fault for not having our game on straight, I would like to extend a formal apology–for us all–to Josh Schwartz and The CW.

And here it goes.

Dear Josh Schwartz and The CW,

You are so good at what you’re doing, and it’s obvious. You know the youngish, whitish, unrelatably prettyish demo of American tweens and teens better than they know themselves. Look at all of the wonderful work The CW has done– you turned Veronica Mars, the twistiest and most brilliantly written teen noir of this decade, into a confused, tepid and useless flaccid dick of a show. You continue to stage America’s Next Top Model in the fashion capital of…Los Angeles?? You removed the creator of the Gilmore Girls from Gilmore Girls and then kept trying to make more episodes. Genius! And Josh, let me tell you, I am from Orange County, and we never called it “the” OC before you did. What a concept, what a show, what a cast. I often argue that Mischa Barton is the Catherine Deneuve of our time. Brilliance. Sheer brilliance. Great work.

So I just want to say that we at DISGRASIAN are sorry for having criticized you both at length over these last few weeks, for casting a bunch of mute twinsie “ethnics” in your brilliant new show Gossip Girl. You didn’t want to make them mute, you were forced to. Gosh, why didn’t you just tell us that we didn’t have the stuff? Had I but realized that none of us had the talent or comedic skills to be as funny as the other hilarious white folks on The CW! My god, we should just be glad you’re willing to showcase some of our girls, and pretty ones at that. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

We were so wrong to judge you. Worse, we were wrong not to judge ourselves. We’re about to write an open letter to both the black and Asian unfunny girl communities and tell them (like Tyra would): Ladies, it’s time to STEP IT UP!

We just hope we do better next time.

Yours, humbly,
Diana and Jen of DISGRASIAN
(authors of a humorless blog, one that humorlessly judges the great humorous talents of our time)

Thanks Jaz, jRu, and Rachel! You are like peas in a pod.

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