Two fuckin’ weird stories involving breaking world records have come out of China in the last week. The first is a story of 10 year-old Huang Li, a girl who swam 3 kilometers in the Yangtze River for 3 hours, WITH HER HANDS AND FEET BOUND. Here’s what her Hardass Asian Father had to say about her achievement:
“Next time, she will swim further and I’ll follow her in a boat to ensure safety,” (Xinhua) quoted Huang’s father, who called his daughter a swimming prodigy, as saying.
How very Asian–goals first, safety second. A heartwarming story if I’ve ever heard one.
The other world record story is about itty-bitty couple Li Tangyong, 3 feet 6 inches, of Shunde City, and his new wife Chen Guilan, 2 feet 3 inches, who are hoping to make the Guinness Book as the shortest couple on the planet.
At first I thought their goal was, to be frank, fuckin’ retahded, but when I learned that they had delayed their wedding for 3 years because of parental objections, I had a change of heart.
I realized how small my outlook on their record chase had been. I mean, er, not small, but…short-sighted. Ooh–that didn’t come out right. What I mean to say is…I wish you well, Li and Chen, in your pursuit of happiness and lofty, uh, scratch that…big, I mean, er, grand..uh…well, you know what I mean.
(Greenie wants everyone to know that little people are people, too)
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