The Unveiling: A Story In Photos

October 22nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

“Sigh. Here I am, arriving at that bitch Jaime Pressly’s new fashion line, J’aime.
I’m feeling so bummed out, I think because my teats are covered. What a great
idea, a fashion line. I should have my own fashion line! I could call it B’ai!
I could make sparkly bandeau tops with matching underwear–er-pants!
God, I’m just so SAD. Why isn’t anyone taking photos of me?”

“Oh hello again. I thought perhaps if I posed net to this very nice new Audi automobile that someone might snap a picture or two. This reminds me of those ‘Tuner Zine’ girls. I wonder if I could get into that magazine. I once asked this man I met at a party if he had any connections, and he said that it depended on how much dick I liked. I got so confused.
What does it mean, dick? Sigh. I still feel sad. Now, I pout.”

“I tried to so hard to make an impact with my outfit today. The designer, Cornolio,
told me that it was ‘like
Gwen Stefani’s baby stroller
on acid.’ I don’t really know what that means but something about the pleats makes me feel like I am not very sexy.”

“Ahhh! Liberation! Thank god I forgot to wear a shirt.
Now all I have to do is slide this baby open and then EVERYONE will want to talk about my book, NIPPLES! I feel joy once again! I am sexy! I am SEXY!!!”

Insanity barometer… off the charts and out to space!!!

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