DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! China

October 19th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dearest China,

What’s up, dude? How’ve you been? It’s been awhile since we last spoke, but rest assured that we’ve been thinking about you constantly and keeping tabs on your ass.

Not to be all up in your grill or anything, but what’s going on with you right now? Are you like, really busy, or preoccupied or whatever? We totally know you’ve got Olympics on the brain, but we feel like in the meantime you seem to be saying some weird shit and slacking on a lot of your really important duties. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned from our years of knowing you intimately, one should never defect on their duties. Right?

For starters, you poo-poo’d all over the decision to award the Dalai Lama the Congressional Gold Medal this week, with Foreign Ministry spokesperson Liu Jianchao saying that it “severly hurt the feelings” of the Chinese people.

Liu continued:

“China urges the United States to take effective measures immediately to remove the terrible impact of its erroneous act, cease supporting and conniving with the separatist activities of the Tibet independence forces … and take concrete steps to protect China-U.S. relations.”

Geez, is that a threat? Dude, the Dalai Lama is our friend. He is the most peaceful bloke we know–we really respect him, and he gives us hope. We understand how complicated your relationship is right now, but please don’t put us in the middle of that–and please just don’t insult our friend. It’s sour and fucked up, it makes us really uncomfortable, and we’re simply not down with that shit.

Moving on, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but some really fucked-up shit has been happening under your nose. Do I need to spell them out for you? Okay, D-A-R-F-U-R and M-Y-A-N-M-A-R. Seriously, where the fuck are you?

“I don’t see nothin’!”


You are really the only country with the power to make any real impact in both of these situations, and we feel like you’re just sitting around with your thumb up your ass, thinking of different ways to make the place pretty for all of next year’s tourists. We don’t give a shih tzu about gold medals, dammit! We are sick and tired of this bullshit–namely genocide, oppression, and conflict!

Pay attention! It’s time for you to step up. If you don’t, it will severely hurt our feelings. We severely urge you to take effective measures in saving yourself from our disgrace, so we can be proud to look you in the eye again one day.

Here’s hopin’,
Diana and Jen

Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

karatekid

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.

Peter-Beste9

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Peace.

2013-03-29-01-01

If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Wannabe.

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!

bfbutt

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.

ama_psy_and_hammer_this_one_0

Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?

dj-twinkie2-blog480

RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!