Being Bai Is So ’92

October 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Perhaps nobody’s buying photos of Bai Ling’s exposed teat or vagina this week, so she’s making a desperate different play for attention.

Bai attended US Weekly‘s B-List-All-Stars Famous-For-Nothings Hot Hollywood party last week and gushed to the magazine about Angelina Jolie, with whom she shared the screen in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

These gems include:

“I felt this energy between us, when we look at each other there’s an energy, an attraction. Her eyes transfer a sexual energy to me that makes her irresistible.”
Translasian: “I’ve already forgotten what it’s like to be in an actual film. I mean, Me a rikey touchey boobie ching chong!”

“Angelina said, ‘Next time we’ll play lovers.’”
Translasian: “Please don’t stop talking to me to interview a cast member from ‘The Hills!’”

“We could have hooked up, but it just wasn’t the right time or place. But she told me, “My heart’s open to you.’”
Translasian: “I have spoken to Angelina for longer than a minute, approximately three times.”

“She is like me. She is totally open sexually.”
Translasian: “Suckee Fuckee!”

“I’ve always thought Brad [Pitt] was the sexiest man on the planet. So now that Brad and Angelina are together, now maybe I could experience both at the same time!”
Translasian: “Suckee Fuckee Fuckee! Suckee Fuckee Fuckee! Me ruv you rong rong time!!”

While I am thrilled at how far Bai has grown sexually since July, when the poor lass didn’t even know the meaning of “dick,” I must say that this semi-believable lust confession does stink of familiarity.

I don’t see how, though. It’s not like some other zzZZZzzsexually experimentalzzZzZZzZ has-been-no-never-was DISGRASIAN has ever tried to ride Jolie’s labia coattails to fame before.

“Are you writing this down? Angie and I used to wrastle!”

Nope, never.


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