Nerd Eliminasian

September 26th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I like to believe (because it’s true) that Asians excel at everything.

If you’re going to be a genome researcher, be the very best researcher. If you’re going to be a concert violinist, be the the very best concert violinist. If you’re going to be a blogger, be the very best blogger (hee!)–do you what you do, and do it well.

Oh, and one more thing: if you’re going to be the one repreznt’n Asian smarty-pants-nerd on the 4th season of Beauty and the Geek, be the best damn Geek in the bin, NOT THE FIRST ELIMINATED. And when you are eliminated from the cast of what is really just a CW-low-concept-reality-show, DON’T CRY LIKE A LITTLE BITCH.

I’m talking to you, Tony:

Tony, I want to like you. You’re a nerd (DISGRASIAN actually really loves nerds). You love science (science is hot). You’re not just any medical student, you specialize in Biomedical Engineering with a concentration in Chemical Engineering (which is basically just a tongue-twister to us). You collect historic medical books and play Chinese Chess. That shit is brainy and weird and mildly eccentric, which is awesome. It’s all very, very cool.

So embrace it! Own it! You don’t need a stupid reality show to get laid. You can get laid all on your own. You just need to make a few improvements.

First of all, stand up straight. Secondly, stop tucking in your t-shirt, and never wear exercise pants if you aren’t exercising. While you’re at it, feel free to exercise more. Next, realize that you have a penis and act like it. You’re studying at Johns Hopkins University right now– introduce yourself to my friend Young, who is a medical professor there with a Princeton English Degree and a Medical PhD and is possibly the coolest and sexiest brainiac alive–and get some lady-baiting tips.

Lastly, stop selling yourself and your brothers as dickless dorks that don’t know Vanilla Ice from Eminem or up from down or eunuch from Munich. You’re better than that.

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