Bob It Like Beckham*

September 11th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I don’t know about you, but when I think about what makes a person chic, I reference a few simple rules. And these rules are entirely based on the sartorial teachings of Style Guru Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice.

1. Lumpy, store-bought fakies are timeless.

The lumpier and more-lopsided, the better. Push ‘em up and out, preferably with a polyester lace bra, and let’s go grab some Lemongrass Martinis, girlfriend!

2. Anorexia is gorgeous.

Don’t believe the hype that Fat-ists around the world are trying to spread about how bad anorexia is for you. Those haters just want you to be fat and miserable like them. There is no such thing as “too thin.” That is a lie with no basis in science, like evolution.

3. Underwear-as-outerwear always eases that tough transition between day and evening.

Oh, Pants. They’re just so damn cumbersome. Wouldn’t life be so much simpler if we went out in our undies all the time? Free your mind, and your barely-covered ass will follow!

So imagine my delight when my friend Greenie sent me a story about how fashionable Singaporean women are cutting their locks to emulate Posh’s current hairstyle, which is known there as…The Pob. As in, Posh Bob.

‘I get at least one customer a week requesting for it,’ says Jonathan Foo of Jon’s Salon at Far East Plaza. ‘Even if they don’t ask for it, they talk about it, saying it’s very nice.’

Alas, to paraphrase Poison, every Pob has its thorn:

But experts here warn that the Pob is not suitable for all Asian women.

(“Celebrity hairstylist” David) Gan points out that Posh’s haircut works because Caucasians tend to have coarser hair. Asians, on the other hand, usually have fine, dark coloured hair, making it more difficult for the choppy texture of the Pob to show through.

Devastating news for me. I’m going to have to take to my bed for the rest of the day and comfort myself with a diet beverage, my well-worn copy of Skinny Bitch, and Oprah reruns.

“Who me? I don’t read, AND I don’t give a shit.”

Source Source Source Source

(*Greenie’s brilliant title. Thanks G!)

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