SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN

August 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The Sports Round-up for Round-Eyes, Slant-Eyes, and Everyone In-Between

Home Invasian

Two NBA stars, Antoine Walker of the Miami Heat (L) and Eddy Curry of the New York Knicks (R), were victims of home invasions in July in the Chicago area. Police are currently investigating whether the burglaries were committed by the same crew. The AP reported on this last week and included some curious details:

Two hulking NBA stars were bound with duct tape and robbed of cash and jewelry by masked gunmen in separate holdups…

New York Knicks forward Eddy Curry — 6-foot-11, 285 pounds — was tied up along with his wife and an employee at his mansion…

Miami Heat forward Antoine Walker, who is 6-foot-9, 245 pounds, was similarly robbed along with a relative at his $4 million townhouse…

Hulking? Really? I mean, I’ve always personally thought that Antoine Walker looked like a jelly donut, but what’s the implication in listing their height and weight? That these two HULKING men could have overpowered burglars with guns? Is the AP calling them pussies?

Game Not Yet Over

Guess who’s back? Back again. Gagné’s back. Tell a friend. Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back…

RIP Bill Walsh

Dear Coach,

The only fault I can find in your illustrious career is that you weren’t coaching my Cowboys during the Montana years. That, and the fact that you had Montana in the first place, and we had Danny “I Punt Also” White. But I’m not bitter. Not. Too. Bitter. I hope wherever you are, you’re calling a passing play on 1st down. If there is a God, I’m pretty sure He thinks the West Coast offense rules, too.

in pigskin we trust,
Jen

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