VANESSA: So wait, why are we here again?
NICK: It’s a celebrity baseball game. We’re the celebrities.
VANESSA: Oh. Well you were in, like, a second-tier boy band in the early 2000s.
NICK: Vaness, don’t start with me. You’re just a former beauty queen. So was Delta Burke.
VANESSA: I was an MTV Veejay!
NICK: So was Jesse Camp.
VANESSA: Oh my god. We’re nobodies.
NICK: No, baby. We’re somebody! For instance, I partly-own this baseball team: The Rainiers.
NICK: The minor league team.
VANESSA: Minor league? Who watches the minors? Who cares if you partly own a minor team? It’s not like you’re Jerry Buss or something.
NICK: That was fucked up. I can’t believe you just said that.
VANESSA: I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. Okay, so if this is a team, then why are we playing?
NICK: It’s a celebrity game.
VANESSA: Ooh! Where are the other celebrities?
VANESSA: They’re US?
NICK: What are you trying to say?
VANESSA: Oh my god. Can we go to Koi or something when we get back to LA? I’m having a meltdown. I thought you were raising my stock.
NICK: What stock?
VANESSA: My stock! My stock! I want to have a higher StarMeter score on IMDB!
NICK: Listen, we’re being photographed. We’re going to be on WireImage like ka-ray-zee tomorrow.
VANESSA: People care about this shit?
NICK: Sorta! Nobody really has anything better to do!
VANESSA: Where are the cameras?
NICK: There. [points] And there.
NICK: Mrrnnmmph!! Take the picture!!!
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