An Open Letter to Asian Boy Bands

August 21st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Fahrenheit

TVXQ

Shinhwa

Hey Dudes,

Wazzup?!? I’m writin to you not so much as a fan but as a curious onlooker. I wuz mindin my own beeswax the other night, eatin delicious Chinese food in the SGV with my BFFs, and I noticed on their flatties, there wuz some singin competition, like AI but with Azns. Even though the sound wuz off, I could tell that all the boyz were DISGRAZN. How, u ask? It wuzn’t the 1-handed gluvs or all that scary man jewelry. And a lot of the boyz were really really key-ute.

It wuz the Artichoke Haircut.

WTF am I talkin bout? Take a look in the mirror. What’s wit all those layers? Are u addicted to mousse? Didja–as my BF Diana would say–get n2 a fight with a weedwhacker? Are yr hairdressers blind?

Wen I look at u, all I see is Meg Ryan circa the late 90′s, after she wuz cute and b4 she became a plastic surgery droid. This gives me awkweird feelins I can’t really xpress. I realze that boy bands are sposed to have preposterous hair, but u gotta draw the line somewhere.

me
____________the line___________
u


Plz stop this asap.

luv,
Jen

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