Phillip: Hi Deb! Thanks for coming to my store opening! Do you want some champagne?
Debra: Yes! I would love some! I’m so excited to be here! I just got nominated for an Emmy! I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!
Phillip: Congratulasians, Deb. Good for you.
Debra: I know! Isn’t it?!? I mean, of course I already have one Emmy, and that’s enough, because most people don’t even get the chance to have THAT, and that is so precious. Do you have an Emmy?
Phillip: Uh, no Debra. I’m a fashion designer.
Debra: Kidding! Har har! I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!!! They love me! They really love me! This is so great! Maybe I’ll get free clothes again! And land the cover of Vogue!
Phillip: Debra, darling. That dress of mine that you’re wearing was free.
Debra: I know! And thank you! You are a wonderful friend! But I had to buy this turban-thingy on my own! Do you think it makes me look thinner?! I think it makes my face look two pounds thinner! What do you think?!? Tell me!!!
Phillip: Well, that’s why I designed this flounce on the front of the dress. It disguises one’s imperfections. Not that you have any.
Debra: OMG. You think I’m fat?! You do, don’t you?! You think I look fat?! OMG. Do you have something else I can wear?! Oh my god, is Anna Wintour here?!? Give me a new dress RIGHT NOW or I’ll bite your dick off!!!
Phillip: Whoa. Debra. Chillax. Let’s find you something else to wear. We’ll make it all better.
Debra: Damn straight you will!!! Because I’m Debra Messing, and I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!
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