Then Again, Maybe Not

July 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Oh Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo. Just as I was starting to think you guys might actually be kind of cool, you had to go and remind me that you are just really just a pair of B-list saccharine douchetards:

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You guys are so LAME! “Our secret life” my ass. I promise you, unless there are s&m swings and/or spy work involved, your secret life is as boring as my 3rd grade diary–which read a little something like this:

“Hey Diary,

How are you? I’m great. So much to tell, I don’t even know where to start. So what happened today… Social Studies, English… SCHOOL! I can’t believe we have to go to school. But I got to sit next to Jared C. (sigh!) today at lunch, it was A-W-E-S-O-M!

You should have been there, Diary!!

Anyway, that’s all for now!
More Later!
Good night!

Love (and kisses),

But back to this dreadful zzZZZzZZzcelebrity coulple–oh sorry, I dozed off– it all gets so much worse:

Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. Why haven’t you learned? Cheesing out your romance is like severing off your own pecker. Don’t you remember this?

I would refer to it as a manhood LOW.

Trust me.

Now hightail it to some new tropical resort and screw on VIDEO! It’s the only way.


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