The Domino Effect

July 24th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Lindsay Lohan was loathsome.

Not during Mean Girls–no, in Mean Girls she was wonderful. And through that whole chubby period, even during the creepy Wilmer Valderrema stage. Nope, it happened somewhere between Herbie: Fully Loaded and Hyde and Malibu and Teddy’s and a giant, Kilamanjaro-sized pile of coke. I started to hate her.

It seemed like the last straw when Lindsay didn’t show up for Jen’s SHAMEXCHANGE PROGRAM.

And. Then. Came:

Lohan’s ’07 Mug Shot: Driving not so good, hair great, skin terrible, eyes sad.

Suddenly, for the first time EVER, I started to feel bad for the poor girl. Why is her life tumbling down in a movie-like downhill spiral? Why does it seem like nobody actually loves her? Why is she snorting her sadness away instead of working it out with a proper therapist? Jesus, why isn’t there a friend out there willing to AT LEAST HOLD HER STASH OF BLOW FOR HER?

I wanted to reach out to her. I wanted to offer her kindness and big sisterhood.

And then…

As a result of Lohan’s arrest, she was forced to bail on her Tonight Show appearance this evening, and in her stead DISGRASIAN veteran Rob Schneider will fill up the dead air by trading bad jokes with Jay Leno.

Though he has promised to impersonate Lindsay during his interview, chances are he’ll be spending most of his time plugging his Ching-Chong Minister character from the film I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry (which, if I can bring myself to sit through this GLAAD-approved pile of comedy dung without retching, will probably end up on DISGRASIAN next week).

Schneider, GLAAD, Chuck, Larry, Leno. All at once.

Now I’m mad at the bitch all over again.

Source Source Source Source Source

Filed under: , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

karatekid

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.

Peter-Beste9

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Peace.

2013-03-29-01-01

If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Wannabe.

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!

bfbutt

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.

ama_psy_and_hammer_this_one_0

Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?

dj-twinkie2-blog480

RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!