Jackassian

July 17th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

So… I would argue that Jen and I are both pretty tough broads with reasonably high tolerance for pain.

A few examples: I sat–both eyes open–through the entire monstrosity of Tim Burton’s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I flipped a dirtbike and watched my hand get pummeled by its rotating chain, only to chill it with a cold PBR and continue riding. Jen grew up facing Texas bullies with hips that weighed more than she did. And Jen once played an entire game of paintball with a bunch of sensitive-type Ivy League dudes who were so fired up on latent testosterone and unused machismo that it played out like a scene of Platoon.

That said, there is only so much a lady can take. I vowed never again to watch a psychedelic take on Roald Dahl in this life. And after eight weeks of nursing a black-bruised rib from taking a point-blank shot to the abdomen, Jen swore to Bejeesus Almighty that she would never, ever, ever, let a painty ball be fired toward her person ever, ever again.

So you can imagine our horror to see that one of our own Asian men made a bid for a measly $1k stupidity prize (Actually: “Chuck $ Larry What Would You Do For A Buddy $1000 grand prize contest”) by doing the best thing he could think of–stripping down to his jock strap and allowing a barrage of pink paintballs to be fired off at his core.

Doesn’t sound too terrible? Take a look for yourself.

The thing is, for a Jackass ripoff, one could argue that it ain’t half bad. But the other thing is, Bam Margera wouldn’t be caught dead screaming his ass off like a sorority chick, and a banged-up Johnny Knoxville wouldn’t give two shits about a couple of biting ants in the grass.

I sure hope he won that $1k.

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(Thanks, Chris?)

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