Darling I Don’t Know Why I Go to Extremes

July 17th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Bai Ling with her not-husband Damon Elliott, from the ESPYS Extreme 2007 Kickoff Party

Bai: Can you see it? Has it slipped out?

Damon: Not yet, honey. (beat) So what do you think of my look tonight?

Bai: I loooove it. I told you, when you date an Asian girl, it’s okay to dress chinky. Wear pajamas in public, put chopsticks in your hair, get a Chinese tattoo you can’t read, and anything with dragons…is a-okay.

Damon: You don’t think I look like a couch cushion?

Bai: No, you look like a sexy beast.

Damon: I like this get-up because it says to the world, Bai’s my bitch. It’s a testament to our two week-old love.

Bai: Excuse me? I ain’t your bitch. You MY bitch.

Damon: No, you my bitch.


Damon: You, uh, you…win.

Bai: Here come a bunch of paps. Is my nipple out or what?

Damon: It’s miraculously still inside that dress.

Bai pulls out her right nipple for the photographers.

Bai: (sighs) The world has no idea what it’s like to be me. No idea.


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