When Worlds Collide: Robot Wedding

June 18th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
From the AFP: “Robot hosts South Korean wedding”

Robot: Ahem. Can I get everyone’s attention, please? I would like to propose a toast to the beautiful bride and the groom, my creator and friend, Seok Gyeong-Jae.

Groom: Thank you. Everyone, give it up for Tiro the Robot. We’re making history today, as this is the first time a robot has ever hosted a wedding.

(Wedding guests clap.)

Robot: Aw shucks, man. It’s a real honor. I just wanted to tell everybody that the first time I met the bride, I knew that these two were a match made in heaven.

Bride: That is so sweet.

Robot: Seok and I were out at a bar–cuz the dude is and always will be my wingman, right, Seok? Punch it in, brah!

(Robot and Groom fist-knock. Bride raises an eyebrow.)

Anywho, we were at this bar, and this smokin’ hot babe walks in with her girlfriends, and I was, like, Seok, did you see the pair of ti–

Groom: Er, I think it’s time to cut the cake!

Robot: And he was, like, duuuuuude, I wouldn’t mind tapping that a–

Bride: (yelling) Who wants CHAMPAGNE?

Robot: Which didn’t prove so difficult in the end, as our blushing bride here turned out to be a big-time sl–

Bride: Will someone fucking get me a bucket of water or something to throw on this thing?

Robot: Thing? How incredibly offensive. I’m not a thing. I am capable of at least 436 emotions–

Bride: (to Groom) Brilliant idea, by the way. Really genius.

Robot: Seok, buddy. Don’t say I never warned you that she was a C-U-Next-Tues–

(Groom reaches over and pulls the plug on Tiro the Robot.)

Groom: That concludes our toasts for the evening! (to Wedding Photographer) Please take the picture while I am still living and breathing.


Filed under: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen



If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen


Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!


Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.


Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?


RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!