Yesterday, the New York Yankees announced the signing of two Chinese prospects to minor league contracts. Left-handed pitcher Kai Lu and catcher Zhenwang Zhang, both 19, are the latest players to join the Evil Empire, and the first mainlanders to be inked by MLB. The league’s official website reported:
“This is an exciting opportunity for us to integrate Chinese players into the organization,” said general manager Brian Cashman. “We believe that this is the start of something we can develop further as we work toward our commitment to help grow the game of baseball in China.”
Well played, Yankees. These signings officially make you the most Asian team in baseball. Not only because you’ve got Matsui, Wang, Igawa, and these two 19 year-olds, but because your relentless pursuit of the Number One spot–in your division, record books, revenues, payroll, and now, in China–makes you unmistakably one of us. It’s as though you guys want to be Valedictorian of the Universe. Normally, I would grant you Honorasian status based on that drive alone, but then I remembered that you’re the Yankees, and I hate you, so…good fuckin’ luck.
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