Put Your Hands Up, Step Away From the Disgrasian

June 22nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Stop the presses! NO DOUBT is back together for more world domination??????

Reunited members of No Doubt, earlier this week after a day of recording

GWEN: Ohmygod guys, like, I am so glad we’re doing this.

TOM: Uh, yeah Gwen. It’s great.

GWEN: Right Tony?

TONY: What? Oh yeah, whatever.

GWEN: Where were you at lunch today? I saw you leaving with those two Harajuku girls.

TONY: Those weren’t harajuku girls. Their names are Diana and Jen. They do this site or whatever called Disgr—-

GWEN: Oh that’s so weird! They reminded me so much of my little slaves.

TONY: [sighs loudly] Anyway, whatever, they said they wanted to take me out. We had a good lunch. We talked a lot about things like people stealing thunder, playing racial drag, and ditching the talented people who took you to the top and exploiting the fetishized ideas of Eastern races in order to capitalize off of the dispensable income of impressionable young g—-

GWEN: Huh? Anyway, I’m so glad we’re still bros. You guys are totally my bros.

TONY: We’re not siblings. I’ve slept with you before. You wore my mom’s bindi for 3 weeks.

TOM: Why didn’t you come to my birthday dinner at Cipriani, Gwen?

ADRIAN: I just pooped my pants!

GWEN: God you guys, it’s been so long. Like Kingston is totally as big as you guys.

ADRIAN: I am a king!

TOM: Where is that little rat?

GWEN: He’s with one of my slaves. Baby, I think. My baby is with BABY! Heee! Isn’t that cute?

TONY: [rolls eyes] Oh yeah, reaalllly fuckin’ cute.

GWEN: So um, did you guys give any more thought to that thing I was talking about inside?

TOM: Uh, NO.

GWEN: It’s FUN, guys. You just have to give it a chance.


TOM: Adrian, no, it’s not fun.

GWEN: Whhhaaa–aaat! Come on!

TONY: I’m not wearing a dhoti and kurta, Gwen.

GWEN: Oh come on! Why not! That’s traditional Indian dress!!! I have all these cool old Bollywood pictures we can send to our stylist.

TONY: No, Gwen.

GWEN: And I will call you “Butterfly…”

ADRIAN: I have a heart!

TOM: Jesus Christo, shut up Gwen.

GWEN: …and Tom can be “Oval…”

ADRIAN: Lollipop! I want a lollipop!

TONY: Goddamn you, witch!

GWEN: …and Adrian can be “Lollipop!” You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

ADRIAN: [purrs and nods yes]

TONY: My lord, Diana and Jen were right about you.

GWEN: Who?


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