My Belly Hurts

June 4th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

This jerkoff, aka Joey “Jaws” Chestnut (according to his Wikipedia page: a competitive eater from San Jose, California, currently ranked second in the world by the International Federation of Competitive Eating) just beat out 5-time world champion Takeru Kobayashi of Japan in the world’s most famous Hot Dog eating contest.

Says the San Jose Mercury News:

Joey Chestnut, 22, shattered the record held by Takeru Kobayashi of Japan by downing 59 1/2 “HDBs” – hot dogs and buns – during the Southwest Regional Hot Dog Eating Championship at the Arizona Mills Mall in suburban Tempe.

Kobayashi’s old record of 53 3/4 was set last year at Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest, held at Coney Island in New York, said George Costos, who helps runs the regional contests for Nathan’s.

Chestnut placed second in last year’s world championships, consuming 52 hot dogs.

“He’s unbelievable – he just keeps on going,” said Ryan Nerz, who works for Major League Eating, which he describes as “a world governing board for all stomach-centric sports.”

‘These guys’ numbers have just been going up at a tremendous clip,’ Nerz said. “I always thought there was a limit – a limit to the human stomach and a limit to human willpower – but I guess not.”

Chestnut won a free trip to New York, a year’s supply of hot dogs and a $250 gift card to the mall.

Uh, I mean, I know I hate “Jaws” for bringing shame and dishonor to my man from Japan (“Second Place? FIRST LOSER!”) but… ultimately I might just be a little too worried about the fact that a governing board called MAJOR LEAGUE EATING exists to really care.

Can’t we just grab a chili-cheese 10-incher from Pink’s and call it a night?

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