DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamer Bai Ling recently told World Entertainment News Network that she would not “stop stripping.” The professional nuddhist was quoted as saying, “I believe the human body is basically a gift. It needs to be cherished, respected and celebrated. I love being naked. I think it’s the human mind that is dirty not the body.”
You’re so right, Bai. It’s not you, it’s us. It’s as though you’ve removed the dirty scales over our eyes and now we can finally see. Hallelujah! Praise Nuddha! Diana and I would like to offer our sincerest apologies and regrets for besmirching your purity and sullying your cherishment, respectation, and celebratonomy in the past. We promise to be more clean and chaste in the future, although I fear we’ll never achieve your unadulterated and enlightened state of being. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and flog away the dark stain on my soul.
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