Diana and I have discussed at length why Zhang Zhiyi, star of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Memoirs of a Disgreisha, a pretty girl to all intents and purposes, always winds up looking like ass. You may recall this post, which featured the Zhangster at last year’s Oscars, all dolled up in a window treatment:
Or this more recent post, where she showed to the Costume Institute gala in a giant, mesh shower sponge:
Sure, the satin shoes look like something my mother would wear for her annual Chinese choir concert, and let’s just say that, at some movie theaters, Moms qualifies for the senior citizen discount. And the Zhangster’s face is far too “dewy,” a problem that could be easily rectified. The same goes for those annoying forehead whiskers that we Asian girls are blessed with, which can be removed by any old, sadistic Chinese lady schooled in the art of threading, an ancient technique of winding thread around a stray hair and yanking as hard as fuck.
The dress is a nice color, if a bit boring, but at least it doesn’t look like something from the Bed, the Bath, or the Beyond.
Brava. For now.
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