The reward challenge on last night’s Survivor: Fiji was downright foul. The sadistic fucks over on Bula Bula island had to mouth-yank chunks of meat off of a hanging pork pile, run a couple of yards, and drop as much as they could onto a plate.
The best part of this, of course, was watching the swinging meat hunk smack that sketchy-boring-pretty-blahblah-weakling-Asian-zzZzZzz Stacy in the face during every cutaway. Pow! Yes!
Throughout the episode, we were all sure to see if Alex, the last manipulative brat of the Four Horsemen, would be packing his bags… until he almost turned the entire group on another player:
But the Alliance couldn’t–nay, wouldn’t–turn on their trusty friend. Oh, he’s a wiley Amazian–never screwing anyone over, always doing adorable things. Now he’s pretty much unstoppable (first and foremost, he’s gotta have too much pride to let anyone named “Dreamz” or “Boo” or even “Stacy” take him out, for Chrissake).
So they screwed up. If he was ever gonna go down, they should have done it last night. Fools! That, my friends, is why my man Yau-Man is gonna wreck these folks and take home the million. Mark my words.
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