Prom Night ’07
Looking over pictures from last night’s Costume Institute gala, held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY, I realized that this annual fashism industry event is nothing more than Prom Night.
As some of you know, I went to a big, public high-school in Shitsburg, Texas that was equal parts Friday Night Lights and Jesus Camp. Good times. The Homecoming football game and Prom were the two biggest events of our school year. Prom especially, because not only would we crown a King and Queen, but we would also hand out other “superlatives,” like Most Likely to Succeed and Class Clown, and the more obscure and sometimes obtuse Cute as a Bow & Button, Most Versatile (read: slutty) and Most Organized. That night, I was rocking the big Texas hair, a teal, shirred taffeta dress, and fuschia Lee Press-On nails, and I took home the dubious distinction of “Most Studious.” It was, in a word, humiliating awesome. Life has been all downhill from there.
But now it’s MY TURN to hand out superlatives…for the Met Ball. Just a sec, getting the claws out…and ready!
Prom King and Prom QueenKarl Lagerfeld and Vogue’s Andre Leon Talley
Best DressedDerek Lam and Kerry Washington in Derek Lam
Most Likely to SucceedRachel Roy (pictured with husband Damon Dash)
Most CraziestNaomi Campbell
Cute As a Bow & Old as ButtWendi Deng Murdoch and Rupert Murdoch
Most Well-Suited to be Photographed Side-by-SideThakoon Panichgul and model Hana Soukupova in Thakoon
Most Famous for NothingPainter/Model/Muse Anh Duong
Most Likely to Buy Her Way Onto the Pages of VogueHelen Lee Schifter
Most Likely to Make an Expensive Frock Look Like KmartZhang Zhiyi (pictured with friends)
all photos from style.com, except for the ancient prom photo (photobucket)
Filed under: Asian Fashion Designers, Demystification, Fashism, Prom, Superlatives, Useless People, Vogue is French for Ugly
