Not Surprising, But Kinda Gross

May 21st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

NY Daily News vomited up a pile of boring celebrity gossip this morning:

“John Mayer wasn’t licking his wounds alone in his room Thursday night after his split with Jessica Simpson.

The sensitive strummer was at Stereo ‘hitting on every super-skinny girl there,’ swears our source, ‘and only the really skinny ones.’ That would be the opposite of the voluptuous Simpson, who was in Cannes announcing ‘Major Movie Star,’ which she’ll start lensing this summer while Mayer goes on tour.

Despite the flirtations, particularly with one Asian model, Mayer left alone — perhaps already regretting the rift with Simpson.”

“Perhaps it was during these hiatuses that Mayer began to keep off-and-on company with an L.A. model named Caroline, one source claims. He ‘was always seeing the other girl anyway,’ said the source.”

1) Aren’t models just models?

2) The thought of John Mayer licking anything kinda makes me want to hurl.

3) “Sensitive Strummer?” Don’t tell me that any guy who writes the words “your body is a wonderland” down on a page isn’t just dreaming about blow jobs from groupies in a green room.

4) Yick. Please ladies, let’s not incorprate bloat-face into the dating pool. We’re already fighting the Asian moon cheeks, dude. That shit ain’t cool.

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