Duke University, Harvard of the South and, Apparently, of Fuqups

May 24th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

34 graduate students at Duke University’s Fuqua Business School were caught cheating a month ago. 15 of the 34 cheaters were suspended for a year, and 9 were expelled. All 9 expelled students were Asian. Robert Ekstrand, attorney for the Notorious Nine, made this statement to the press:

Many of the students involved in the case at the Fuqua School of Business confessed instead of fighting the charges because of different cultural norms in their countries, Durham attorney Robert Ekstrand said…

In their home cultures, he said, “a confession or an admission of guilt can be a way to apologize.” He said they sometimes wrote confession letters without understanding the specific accusations.

Wait. So you mean to tell me that something is fuqua-ed up at Duke, the self-anointed “Harvard of the South” and alma mater to Dick Nixon? Shocker. I’m sure the Duke lacrosse team is partying with strippers tonight.

Actually, the real shocker is that the Notorious Nine are Asian. Since when do WE need to cheat? We’re smarter than everybody else, REMEMBER? And cheating your way through business school? Isn’t there a reason why people call it “B” School? Didn’t Ivanka Trump attend “B” School?

Coach K, I realize that this doesn’t fall under your purview, but can you DO SOMETHING?

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