When did you become so derivative–of yourself? When did you, as they say in TV, jump the nipple shark? How did you get on this nipslippery slope?
Don’t you realize what this could do to career? Just ask Tara “Reid My Nips.”
One day they love you in all of your slippage glory, and the next, your nipslippreciation club has moved on to bigger horiznips: “Yawn. Show me a nip that hasn’t slipped, and I’ll show you an asshole that’s never crapped.”
Look at these pictures, Buh Bai. Tell me this isn’t the sad, silent movie of your life:
Here’s my plan of action for you. Go put on Bon Jovi’s Nipslippery When Wet, which I’m pretty sure you own on vinyl. Wipe it down with disinfectant. Fast forward to “Nippin’ on a Prayer.” Get pumped and go out and buy a bra. Put it on. Whoa. You’re halfway there.
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