Like Jen, I too happily bid buh-bye to Mookie Lee, despicable third member of super-aggro-sausage-party alliance The Four Horsemen, from the fateful island of Survivor: Fiji. Incidentally, I was inspired to reach out to Mr. Lee and send him off with a message:
YOU SUCK. AND THIS IS WHY YOU HAD TO GO:
1) Mookie is not your real name. Oh come on. It’s Seung or Jin, isn’t it? Why you frontin’?
2) Even if Mookie is your real name, Mookie is a LAME, inelegant, pansy-ass name. It doesn’t have the suave, cucumber-cool cadence of a name like, say, Yul.
3) That fiery, vengeful hex you tried to put on Cassandra after she sent you to Exile Island was freakin’ scary. All that fire and brimstone made you look like a soulless, angry maniac. Nobody likes angry maniacs.
4) You’re grumpy, and you derive joy from making people miserable. That’s Disgrasian City, dude! You’ve clearly lived there for awhile!
5) After breaking into his stuff and rifling through his bag (any woman worth her Chanel can tell you that this is an offense punishable by death) YOU TRIED TO BLACKMAIL [AMAZIAN] YAU-MAN. What the hell is wrong with you, freak? Who dropped you as a child? Were you never given candy? Did you never play at recess? You’re a bully, and bullies are sad.
6) Jen and I can’t stop making fecal references when you come up. For about a thousand different reasons.
You won’t be missed!
Hugs and Kisses,
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