DISGRASIAN™

Our Very First Honorasian

The Clippers beat the hated-Lakers last night, clinging to that 8th and final playoff spot in the Western Conference. GO CLIPS!

While we’re on the subject, I’d like to take this opportunity to designate our first Honorary Asian, or HONORASIAN. Do something great and we’ll make you one too:

…Clippers point guard Sam Cassell! Below you’ll find a fan letter I wrote to him:

Dear Sam,

I know this sounds crazy, but you look exactly like my Grandma. I figured this out when you were still a young player with the Rockets. Every time I watched you play, I’d get–as Diana would say–those Fuzzy Tummy Feelings that you only get around puppies, babies, asian girls who get bat-mitzvahed, and grandmas. They say you’ll be out the rest of the season with back spasms–I personally hope you’ll just take a painkiller and get back out on the court ASAP. Is that selfish? I just know that you’re a frickin’ BALLER. Just like Grams.

get well soon,
your loving granddaughter Jen

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Filed under: FUZZY TUMMY FEELINGS, Grandmas, LA Clippers, NBA, Racial Transliteration, Sam Cassell