For those who don’t know, the US Championships of text messaging took place on Saturday in NYC (I know! I thought the same thing too! Who didn’t somebody ping me on my Blackberry? Maybe they messaged my Treo instead, etc., etc., etc.). AFP reported over the weekend that roughly 250 people’s thumbs took a crack at combinations of Buddhist passages, shorthand phrases, and the lyrics to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious–for a chance to best the reigning West Coast champ Eli Tirosh and take home $25K. The winner ended up being Morgan Pozgar, a 13-year old girl who said, “It’s all about the thumbwork.”
“In the end, 13-year-old Morgan Pozgar faced off against Michael ‘Cheeser’ Nguyen in the east coast final, with Pozgar slipping past her challenger to face west coast champion Tirosh, a law student from Los Angeles.
‘I just wasn’t fast enough,’ said Nguyen, a 23-year-old engineer from Pennsylvania. Asked how it felt to take second place, he was clearly disappointed: ‘I just got beaten by a teenage girl, but you know.’
Note to Michael “Cheeser”:
Hey. How’s it going? Fine here. Anyway, here’s the thing. It’s bad enough that you’ve allowed yourself to be nicknamed “Cheeser,” and worse that you’ve allowed that name into print. You are a 23-year old engineer living in New York– why are you spending your Saturdays thumbing it out with a bunch of teenagers on Sidekicks? Actually–you know what… do what you gotta do. If you want to compete, more power to you. But pouting after you lose is just NOT COOL. IT’S TEXTBOOK DISGRASIAN BEHAVIOR. And for that matter, in situations like this, just LET THE LITTLE GIRL WIN. IT’S A TEXT MESSAGING COMPETITION. There are BETTER THINGS for you that are so far out of her reach– like driving a car or owning a car or having sex (in a car). Let that massage your ego a little as you go to bed tonight.
And for next time, remember it’s all about the thumbwork. Stop using your wrists so much, dork. As my Vietnamese Grandma always said, “Second Place is just First Loser.”
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