Asian Boys Love Fanny–er–Fanning

April 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


I’m pretty convinced that Dakota Fanning is an alien.

That’s not a bad thing, really. But she’s most certainly an alien–that perky little voice, the insanely precocious mannerisms, the weird, spacey, toothy grin. She’s weird. But incredible. Sure, I love her. I love all weird little aliens.

Watching the 13-year old scoop up the Best Female Movie Star Award at Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards earlier this week, I found my mind wandering wearily off into DakotaFanningquestionland… How long must we wait for Lil’ Miss Fanning to jack up her self-infatuation, pick up a nasty coke habit, start flashing her bosom, and develop an unhappy obsession with changing her hair color a la Lohan? What day will it be that she storms off the set suffering from a teenage nervous breakdown screaming, “Paramount doesn’t own me, my AGENT owns me, you fucker!” What is it like to be a little alien? What do little aliens think about?

And then I wonder… might there ever have been any reason for little Dakota to think of Asian people as silly, babbling, bumbly messes?

…to which I actually have an answer (Yes).

Observe:

Sure, this interview took place years ago when Dakota was still promoting War of the Worlds with Crazyology Messiah Tom Cruise. But just look at her! The consummate professional, having no choice but to laugh uncomfortably at the 17-year old DISGRASIAN, a muttering, hokey, blathering, blundering idiot who makes Asian dudes in high school seem about as desirable asa brown, mushy banana on a sweaty, smelly day.

Little Alien, forget about him! All men are not created equal.

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