Survival of the Asianest

March 30th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Any of you remember Yul Kwon, winner of last season’s Survivor: Cook Islands (the “race” show)? He went to Stanford, got a law degree from Yale, and so dominated the game both physically and mentally that he was voted an almost unanimous winner by fellow contestants. AMAZIAN.

Early in the game, Yul was banished to “Exile” Island, where he found the much sought-after Immunity Idol, which protected him from eliminasian and ultimately helped him to win. Determined not to let an Asian Mastermind take over the show again this season, Survivor producers have cast a pushover named Mookie, a couple of frivolous chicks that I seriously can’t tell apart yet, and Yau Man, a computer engineer-patsy:

Yau Man is your classic 98-lb weakling, with buckteeth and a sketchy command of English. I am 100% sure he tried to smuggle a pocket-protector on the island as a luxury item, the way other people bring in floss and chapstick. The other contestants make fun of him because he’s puny and old and because his name is “Yau Man.” He’s constantly, to use Survivor vernacular, on the chopping block. He’s set-up to be a total Disgrasian, only…

…guess who found the Immunity Idol last night, bitches?

Suck it, Haters!


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