"Prison Break" for Beginners

March 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Reuters reports today that “(a) television station in eastern China which flouted a national ban on U.S. drama ‘Prison Break,’ said it aired the popular serial on its children’s channel for “English training” purposes.”

Click here for full story.


Hmm. This sounds suspiciously like when I tell people I watch The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Duel to understand our youth of today.

But, for the sake of argument, let’s review all the vocabulary Prison Break’s Chinese viewers could have learned from the show, based on a rough plot outline:

1) This guy Lincoln is WRONGFULLY ACCUSED of MURDER and sent to DEATH ROW.
2) His brother Michael commits an armed BANK ROBBERY to go to PRISON to save him.
3) They live among MURDERERS, THIEVES, MAFIOSOS, and ONE RAGINGLY QUEENY HOMICIDAL PEDOPHILE-RAPIST.
4) They ESCAPE FROM PRISON.
5) The prison doctor, who is in love with Michael, relapses into HEROIN ABUSE and almost OVERDOSES. She then gets herself into NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS.
6) The escapees GO ON THE LAM.
7) Also, the Vice President-turned-President of the country is a SCHEMING, MURDERING BITCH.
8) Oh, and, the RAGINGLY QUEENY HOMICIDAL PEDOPHILE-RAPIST gets his HAND CHOPPED OFF while on the run.

This vocab is perfect for coming to America, asking for directions to the nearest Starbucks, and marching right up to the relentlessly cheerful dude behind the counter and saying, “This is an ARMED ROBBERY. Stay calm and no one gets hurt. I need a Venti HER-ON to go. I’m in a hurry. Stare at my BLOODY STUMP and I’ll blow your f-ing brains out!”

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