I forced myself to watch Dancing With the Stars last night the way other people force themselves to go to the dentist every six months. I made the appointment, showed up, then numbed myself with a ton of medication. In the cracked-out bliss state that followed, I was impressed and maybe, just maybe, entertained by Apolo Anton Ohno’s performance. So much so, that I wrote him a fan letter.
I believe that you are the only person in the universe who can claim to be an Olympic speed skater and a ballroom dancer. It’s nice to see you putting those thunder thighs to use between Olympic Games. With your unique skill set, I am sure that you will be wildly successful in whatever you choose to do in the future.
all the best,
p.s. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but it appears that….a brazilian-waxed pussy has landed on your face.
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