Memorandum to the Producers of "Lost"

March 14th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
TO: Bryan Burk, Carlton Cuse, Jack Bender, Damon Lindelof, the Abrams

cc: Daniel Dae Kim, Middlebury College Language School, the Others

It has come to our attention lately that the character Jin (as played resplendently by Daniel Dae) no longer has a speaking role on the show.

It is true that two weeks ago, when the boys found the VW bus on the island, Jin first tried his hand at Engrish. That was, uh, cute, very cute. But surely he has learned to speak the common language of all the people he’s TRAPPED ON AN ISLAND with after 60-plus days. That’s like one whole summer session at Middlebury College, where, let’s say, if you’re taking Arabic, you have to SING in the shower in ARABIC. Those brats who can actually afford to drop 6 grand on the program (I never could and yes, I’m bitter) come out of Middlebury and their assholes can speak Arabic, you know what I’m saying? It’s called FULL IMMERSION.

I think it’s fair to say that Jin has had a full immersion, English language experience on the island already. If not, surely you can scare up an ESL teacher among the Survivors, in the same way that you suddenly found a girlfriend for Hurley last season.

As a last-ditch effort, would you consider making a trade, Jin for Jack? I am certain that the Others already have an English-language school set up for just this scenario, with textbooks and all. Say what you will about those meanies, the Others have got their shit together. Which is more than I can say for the Survivors, who are still squabbling over pornos and mac ‘n’ cheese.


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