Perennial style-biter/pop icon Gwen Stefani will be making a guest judging appearance and performance on American Idol this week for “pop week,” which begins tonight.
She wil, by all assumptions, be bringing her enslaved enclave of Harajuku girls to painstakingly and robotically support her mind-numbing pop mess (“This isn’t Debbie Harry’s dress, it’s mine! Have you ever heard of this wild place called Japan? I invented this groundbreaking musical genre called Rock Steady”) for the performance.
MY FRIENDS!! IT’S TIME.
This is a call to action! We can’t let this go on any longer.
This is our chance to put an end to these years of persecution … live and for America to see.
WE MUST PUT AN END TO THIS ABOMINABLE DISPLAY OF YELLOW SLAVERY AND EMANCIPATE THE HARAJUKU GIRLS.
Here’s the plan:
When that platinum blonde peanut brain’s platform-sandaled foot hits stage, I’ll cause a diversion, and 10-20 of you will rush the stage. The first half of you will hold off security. The other half will grab the Harajukus. Jen will be waiting in a minivan outside of the studio. JUST GET THEM IN THERE.
This is the underground railroad of our century. Don’t let me down.
email firstname.lastname@example.org to sign up for the movement.
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