Pax and Suri. They’re cute. They’re mysterious. They’re elusive. And they both surfaced this week just long enough to be spotted by a couple of those naughty paps.
These two have quite a lot in common. Incidentally, they both deserve a simultaneous shaming this week.
I’ll start with the boy.
To Mr. “Peace Sky Pretty”
Take that binky out of your mouth, grab yourself a PSP, and start surfing the net for free porn like the rest of your first world peers.
To Suri “My Dad was in Cocktail” Cruise,
When that Vanity Fair announced your arrival, we all gasped. You were obviously half yellow. And you were adorable. Sure, you were the result of some sort of weird laboratory experiment, but at least you were gonna be good at math.
You have gone from being my very favoritest Eurasian tot on this Planet of Wayward Souls…
to looking like THEM.
HOW DARE YOU DITCH US BEFORE WINNING EVEN ONE SPELLING BEE?!
You might still be cute, but I am over you.
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