At Least the Benches are Warm

March 6th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


COULD IT BE?? CHINESE PLAYERS IN THE NFL???

Last Friday, the New York Times published this article about the recruitment of Chinese athletes Gao Wei, Ding Long and Shen Yalei as potential NFL kickers. If they succeed, they will be the first Chinese players in the league. And if all goes as planned, the gadzillions of Asian viewers that tune in to watch Rockets games for Ming or Yankees games for Matsui will also be ready for some football.

Wait a minute.

There are 32 teams in the NFL. That’s roughly 1500 players. And you’re telling me that the best we can do are in exchange for a billion almond eyes are to dangle the carrot of special teams???

KICKERS ARE LIKE, THE LAMEST FREAKIN’ PLAYERS IN THE GAME.

They don’t run. They don’t pass. They don’t tackle. They don’t get tackled. They don’t make trick plays. They don’t somersault over a barricade of human flesh. I could be a kicker. My 140-lb, four-eyed, concave-assed astronomy professor from college could be a kicker. A burrito (if it had a foot and a cleat) could be a kicker.

Surely, SURELY there must be something else for these guys to do.

Ed. Note: Upon further research it has become clear that all the water boy positions are already filled. I redact my ridiculous argument. Consider me MOTED! FACIAL!!!

Filed under: ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

karatekid

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.

Peter-Beste9

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Peace.

2013-03-29-01-01

If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Wannabe.

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!

bfbutt

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.

ama_psy_and_hammer_this_one_0

Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?

dj-twinkie2-blog480

RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!