Last Friday, the New York Times published this article about the recruitment of Chinese athletes Gao Wei, Ding Long and Shen Yalei as potential NFL kickers. If they succeed, they will be the first Chinese players in the league. And if all goes as planned, the gadzillions of Asian viewers that tune in to watch Rockets games for Ming or Yankees games for Matsui will also be ready for some football.
Wait a minute.
There are 32 teams in the NFL. That’s roughly 1500 players. And you’re telling me that the best we can do are in exchange for a billion almond eyes are to dangle the carrot of special teams???
KICKERS ARE LIKE, THE LAMEST FREAKIN’ PLAYERS IN THE GAME.
They don’t run. They don’t pass. They don’t tackle. They don’t get tackled. They don’t make trick plays. They don’t somersault over a barricade of human flesh. I could be a kicker. My 140-lb, four-eyed, concave-assed astronomy professor from college could be a kicker. A burrito (if it had a foot and a cleat) could be a kicker.
Surely, SURELY there must be something else for these guys to do.
Ed. Note: Upon further research it has become clear that all the water boy positions are already filled. I redact my ridiculous argument. Consider me MOTED! FACIAL!!!
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